I’d like to take you back to either high school or college. To a time when you started a new class with excitement and uncertainty. Uncertainty of what your teacher would be like, if you would be successful, and if you would enjoy the overall experience.
The year begins and you get homework, a job opportunity presents itself, you have family and friend commitments, and when possible you try squeezing in the nightly dreams. After juggling your new world for a while, you gain an understanding and feel for teacher expectations on papers and tests. You think you finally have it!
Then a teacher throws in a project and your seemingly concrete world is turned upside down. A new challenge presents itself and now you have to figure out what they expect on this new endeavor.
When you get closer to the end of the year, everything starts speeding up before slowing down. Final tests, papers, projects, evaluations, and don’t forget the final exam. Yes, the dreaded final exam where you sit down ready to spill your all your knowledge hoping that everything will turn out ok. As you go through the day you keep pushing and your energy eventually winds down. Although the excitement you started with is depleted, you push through because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Besides, it’s for the greater good and contributes to everything you have worked so hard for during the year.
The day ends, and the waiting begins. You wait for your grades and hope everything will work out. After receiving your grades the reflection begins. Reflection on the friends you have made, the things you learned, the things needing change for next year, and how you are going to use the knowledge you learned throughout the year and in the future.
My first year at TYMEOUT is coming to a close. At the beginning of the year it was starting in a new building, meeting new staff, and beginning a new job. I had come from a teaching position and parish volunteering with a lot of experience in leadership programs and religious education. I honestly don’t know what was more intimidating…leaving a school of 70 staff members or coming into a group where 9 staff members where already friends.
Coming in I was excited about the programs because I love learning new things. The challenge was coming in when the start of the retreat season was already underway. Everything was hands on learning instead of being able to read about the curriculum and slowly internalize it. I came in eager to be on as many retreats as Margie and Ben would allow me to help with.
Much like college where your classes aren’t the only thing on your plate, I soon realized how much scheduling I was doing. The hardest challenge was being able to find time to spend time with friends, family, and grow in a relationship. Finding time to spend a quiet and relaxing moment with Jarred seemed a never ending task. Especially when my weekends were Mondays and Tuesdays, not Saturdays and Sundays. On the upside, I was starting to feel like I was getting a hold of the Relationship and Confirmation Retreats! Similar to school when you finally understand how and what the teacher expects from assignments and how they make their tests, now something new comes in. I looked on our retreat board and noticed that I was the director of a Character Retreat. Further examination revealed I was not only on a Character Retreat but Growing up Catholic, Stewardship, Bullying, Leadership, and Transition retreats. I was beginning to wonder about all the topics someone could ask us to create a retreat around. I started looking through the resources to see what knowledge I could pull from, putting in extra time to make sure I’d be confident in what I was doing, and said a couple of prayers along the way. I went into the retreats wanting to make every one perfect. I came out finally realizing what Marc and Lea were telling me all along, “You can’t change the world in four hours. You can only plant the seeds and hope that they grow.” Now I was feeling like I was doing … decent. As in any good organization, you work, listen, and collaborate with the people who are your colleagues. Reflecting back to the college concept; there are final tests. The final tests at TYME OUT were Spring TYME and Faith-a-thon. For us Spring TYME focused on the graciousness and generosity of donors who provided the financial resources for us to be able to do the retreats we host. This was my first Spring TYME and I was told it was a HUGE event. I was very intimidated. As the night progressed the energy of the room was like caffeine. The excitement of patrons donating was overwhelming. Then came Faith-a-thon. I was just coming off of the high of Spring TYME and I wanted to put my all into it. Faith-a-thon is a two day event where local middle schools and parish middle school programs come out to have fun, test their knowledge on Catholic faith, and be in communion with other Catholics. I was in charge of, “Bible Search”. Luckily for me, my mother was able to help us when we needed it the most. It was nice to share my work with her. The following day grew a bit longer as there weren’t as many groups. The days were fun and to be able to see what everyone knew was exciting. Watching the students grow was an added bonus…although I have to admit; by the end I was exhausted. This summer I’m looking forward to organizing myself at work, writing down the things I need to know to be a better retreat director, and being able to get to know my colleagues on a more relaxed basis.
In the end I have realized a lot about myself. One thing I learned is that I can’t put myself on every project even though I’m the type to work on multiple projects at any given moment. Time is a precious gift! Second, although I do not consider myself gifted in artistic abilities I found when giving myself a chance it doesn’t turn out half bad (i.e. retreat bulletin board going down to the cafeteria). Third, I realized why husbands and wives sometimes struggle to stay connected. With so many things going on and so many people to help, you sometimes forget to slow down and simply LOVE. Most importantly I learned that I will never be perfect, but I am definitely capable. Oh, and sometimes … even I need a break!
Becca - Retreat Team
